i remember when i was in high school in canada, i was at my locker just packing away my things, and i saw someone i knew from my biology class and said hello, and i remember this kid - some white kid named dan - turning around and saying “what? little asian bitch” right to my face. he thought it was funny, he thought it was going to make his friends laugh.
(dan and i talked pretty regularly in biology, and he’d never been rude to me before, and i’d never been rude to him.) but
at that moment, i realized that my color, my race, was a weapon that could be used against me anytime, and that as LONG AS I WAS NOT WHITE, even my friends could marginalize me for no other reason at all
dan has probably forgotten about that incident now, but i remember it still, and i’ll probably remember it ten years from now. i remember how i went home and cried and didn’t want to tell my mom about it because it just kept happening to me every year and i didn’t want to make her cry again.
grade eight, asian jokes. grade nine, asian jokes AND threats over the internet, grade ten, “oh you’re asian, you probably dont know how to play volleyball”, grade eleven, i was a ‘little asian bitch’, and i stopped caring by grade twelve - i rarely left the house, i didn’t even go to the fucking senior retreat because i knew there was a chance someone could make me feel like i shouldn’t exist again
when my family and i went to england, people pointed at our car and told us that the ‘chinese should get out and go back to their country’ in broad daylight (i’m not chinese)
when we went to ireland, people looked at us and assumed that we didn’t know any english, made faces, and said “oh, they’re chinese" (again, i’m not chinese)
i used to love traveling.
i will never take any person that says jokes about race are harmless seriously. i will NEVER take any white person that tells me i need to stop talking about race, my race, and the RACIST issues that continue in this fucked up world
i don’t want to hear ANYONE tell me that just because THEY haven’t seen racism, it doesn’t exist